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Dragon's DomainHe's Not The Messiah, He's A Very Naughty Boy..... |
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November 06 With A New Decade Just Round The Corner...... the burning question in my mind is... what's it going to be called?
We've had the Noughties... and before that the Nineties, Eighties, Seventies etc... Is it going to be called the Tenties???? That's going to make us sound like we're camping for a decade...
Best use of a tent?... For me it's the following...
1. On Friday afternoon, take the bed that you sleep in
2. Remove the covers
3. Remove the mattress
4. Set up the tent on the base of the bed with the opening at the end where you're feet normally are
5. Put the mattress INSIDE the tent
6. Put the covers back over the mattress
7. Put a TV in view of opening
8. Get a table to stand by the opening and cover with beer, snacks, dips, chocolate etc
9. Climb in to tent
10. Do not get out again until Monday morning (except for toilet breaks... coffee/tea making... topping snacks up... paying for ordered take aways)
All the fun of camping with none of the comforts of nature... HUZZAH!!!
The only way this can be topped is if your tent has a windowy type thing in the top of it so you can open it, lie back and pretend you're looking at the stars...This will require you to paint the ceiling of your bedroom black and then flick luminous white paint at it... oooooor get one of those star projectory things from:
Any other suggestions for best use of a tent gratefully received...
Adios Amigos....
October 14 This is why I love Pratchett...Lots of things live in that darkness. There are all kinds of darkness, and all kinds of things can be found in them, imprisoned, banished, lost or hidden. Sometimes they escape. Sometimes they simply fall out. Sometimes they just can't take it anymore...
September 17 Not Sure I Deserved That... I May Have Deserved That...With the athletics season drawing to a close and all athletes looking forward to a break from running, jumping, throwing and drug taking/confusing people about their gender, something has been puzzling me about some athletes taking part in the running events.
Many times have I heard the commentator (Mr & Mrs Potato were very posh and stuck up. They were horrified one day when their daughter came home with her latest boyfriend, who happened to be John Motson, and declared she was going to marry him. 'You can't marry him' said Mr & Mrs Potato... 'He's a commentator') say 'This man/woman is the fastest on paper'.
Now considering that running doesn't take place on paper but gravelly tracks, isn't it time someone told these athletes that their trainer may not quite know what they are doing?
I mean, I don't mean to poop on their parade, cos they're obviously doing a marvellous job if you can get someone ro run really fast on a piece of A4... I normally go arse over tit... but isn't their a definite flaw?
And why did the scarecrow win an award?... Cos he was outstanding in his field...
Right... Bit of Orbital on the player cos I'm off to Manchester tomorrow to see them play...
HUZ...
...and quite literally...
...ZAH!!!!
September 08 Doesn't Anybody Else Think This Is Funny?Where I work we have a 24hr support line for our customers in case of any technical issues that may occur outside office hours... this excludes me (PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISE THE LORD!!!!) for I am 'sans techieness' of any description whatsoever... (and again I say PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISE THE LORD!!!).
We have a third party company that handles the rota for this.... we supply the names and contact number of who is on-call and our customers phone this third party company. Third party company then phones whoever is on call and they phone the customer back. This company is called Rocket.
Due to the bloke that was meant to be on-call this week being rushed to hospital today, a replacement had to be found and Rocket were advised accordingly. However they phoned back a while later to confirm that they'd got the correct phone number for the new person.
The following involves... well let's call them Blokey A and Blokey B for ease of time and sanity...
Blokey A picks up the phone call from Rocket... Not being sure of Blokey B's mobile number, shouts across the office for him to confirm it. Blokey B confirms his number and everything is marvellous.
After Blokey A puts the phone down, Blokey B wanders over...
Blokey B: Was that Rocket?
Blokey A: Yeah
Blokey B: Oh right....
At which point I had to join the conversation with the following...
Me: No, no, no... That's all wrong... **points at Blokey B** You say 'Was that Rocket?'.... **points at Blokey A** Then you say 'Yeah'... **points back at Blokey B** then you say...
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATELLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE OF LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVVVV...
Was the slightest laugh raised?... No it blummin' wasn't...
SHEEESH!!!!
For the thousands in attendance... and the millions watching around the world... LET'S GET REEEEEEEEAAAAAAADDDDYY TTOOOOOOOOO... leave a message in DB's Guestbook....
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brought your brekki db have a lovely day xxjen
hi db xxjen
hi db how are you xxjen
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